Tattoo studio owner faces off with entitled customer in their DMs: 'What sort of way is this to conduct your business?'

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    Man tattooing with text message in front reading "Whay sort way is this conduct business? I shall be contact with relevant authorities as you are CERTAINLY NOT allowed to block access to your parlour or refuse service. Although I am now sure won't be requiring YOUR services."
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    'Throwback to this absolute tool trying to start sh**e'

    FRI 10:27 Can someone assist me? *auto reply* Thanks for your enquiry about your tattoo. To help us deal with this as efficiently as possible, please make sure you've included as much information as possible. This includes size (inches or cms), placement, style (colour, black and grey) and attach any reference pictures you have. Please note WE WILL NOT copy someone else's tattoo, but it does help to show us pictures similar to what you would like. We'll be in contact as soon as we have time to d
  • 03
    + Good morning. I would like to make a complaint to your manger. I tried to gain access to your premises last night to make a IB° Aa
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    premises last night to make a booking for my partner and myself to be tattooed. We were told that it was NOT POSSIBLE and that we would not be booked in for our CHOSEN DATE of Tuesday the first of December. My partner and I have been thinking about this tattoo for OVER A YEAR. The young man at the door was terribly curt with us. When I asked to speak to the manager, he told us he was THE OWNER. I find this very hard to believe, as he had a large tattoo on the side of his head. I would appreciate
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    Ah, Mr I've been expecting your message. I'm David, and I am the owner of the studio. But what is ownership anyway, and for that matter the title of manager? Are they not just man made constraints imposed by the naive and insecure, desperate to find meaning in their otherwise directionless existence?
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    It was me you spoke to last night, so thank you for the "young man" compliment. I shall make sure my wife and daughters take note of this! You were denied entry for several reasons, which I will list below.
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    1) You tried to get in, even though the door was clearly locked. Thank you for checking the strength of the hinges. I've been meaning to do that for some time. 2) You tried to push past me as I opened the door, which was rude to say the least. 3) We require everyone entering the studio to wear a mask, and to do so correctly. As your nose was drooped over the top of your mask, like a flaccid penis, hopefully peeking out a worn pair of y-fronts, I judged this to be incorrect...and yet slightly aro
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    4) It was 7:45 in the evening. 5) We were fucking closed!!! I told you it was not possible to book you in for 1st December, as we are required, by law as of 6pm Friday, to close for three weeks. If you and your partner
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    (she's clearly a lucky woman if the way you wear you mask is anything to go by) really have been thinking about these tattoos for OVER A YEAR, then might I suggest that another few weeks isn't too long? As for your comment about me not possibly being the owner as I have a tattoo on the side of my head... WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU EXPECT TO SEE ON A TATTOOIST?!?
  • 10
    I trust this reply will be anything but 'to-your-satisfaction', so I look forward to you taking it further.
  • 11
    Nicola Sturgeon seems to have her hands full at the moment. Also, Glasgow City Council will probably tell you to shove it right up your shite-er...at least, they do whenever I try to contact them. Might I suggest a couple of alternatives? Carole Baskin, who's actually a friend of the studio, seems to be great at solving problems...you know what I'm taking about.
  • 12
    John Kreese is a man of authority, although telling Johnny to "Sweep the Leg" was probably excessive. I think you'll like his "No Mercy" mantra though.
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    Tattoo artist in black tank top tattoos man's calf, surrounded by tattooing equipment
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    If you really are considering 'grassing me up' then the best thing to do is to tell my mum - she's the slightly haunted and disappointed woman you can see wandering around, muttering sadly about her son with the tattoo on the side of his head.
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    FRI 20:31 I am not having this at all. What a disgusting way to speak to people, I can't imagine you'll be in business much longer. My partner and I will be taking our custom elsewhere.
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    Eh, sorry. This isn't how this works, you're clearly new to our page. What happens is, you send me a shitty message, and I put you in your place, at times being mildly funny and/or amusing. Then I screenshot it, and post on the page. Sorry for any confusion, so off you fuck!
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    SAT 11:48 Whay sort of a way is this to conduct your business? I shall be in contact with the relevant authorities as you are CERTAINLY NOT allowed to block access to your parlour or refuse service. Although I am now sure we won't be requiring YOUR services.
  • 18
    *auto reply* Thanks for your enquiry about your tattoo. To help us deal with this as efficiently as possible, please make sure you've included as much information as possible. This includes size (inches or cms), placement, style (colour, black and grey) and attach any reference pictures you have. Please note WE WILL NOT copy someone else's tattoo, but it does help to show us pictures similar to what you would like. We'll be in contact as soon as we have time to deal with your design.
  • 19
    Tattoo artist in black tank top preparing tools on padded cot
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    SAI 12-25 Is it only NOW that you're sure you won't be requiring our services?!? As licensed premises, we can refuse entry to anyone, for any reason. In other words, "It's oor baw, and yoor no playin'!"
  • 21
    We're ALWAYS nice and courteous to people when they make enquiries, even if it's something we hear all the time. We get that not everyone is as versed in tattoo stuff as we are, and that's why we're here to help, and do awesome tattoos. In your case, however, you've been a fucking dobber from the start, and will be treated as such for as long as you continue to do so.
  • 22
    And now, I will bid you a "fond farewell", "adieu", "bon voyage", and a hearty "bite ma banger!" Actually, I'll apologise for that last bit. We're all going through a tough time at the moment, and there was no need for a "hearty 'bite ma banger!" " Still no tattooing you but.

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